I don't remember when it has become my hobby.
When I was a teenager I always wanted to go to Turkey for some reasons.
Looking at beautiful pictures wasn't enough for me so I decided to go there, I was no longer a teen at the time.
Due to my lack of experience and my poor language skill, I joined a tour and I traveled all over Turkey with Japanese group.
I still remember them clearly, the sunrise in Cappadocia, the excitement to be in the cave house or the Basilica cistern.
The encounters with locals were also the important part of traveling.
I enjoyed their smile, warm hands, foods... culture and nature of course.
The whole trip only lasted for 2 weeks but it gave me deep impression.
Perhaps it was the first time when I realized it.
After 2 weeks of vacation I went back to my apartment in Japan.
Somehow everything looked just so different from it used to be, even the stairs to the station or the closest steel tower gave me a different expression.
All the color around me had changed or actually I might be the one who had changed... well, certainly nothing had changed to be exact but the usual reality became noumenal.
Ever since I was child I've been always telling to myself, "Treasure the feeling when I do something for the first time".
Whenever I read books, watch movies, meet someone or start drawing... always I tried remembering what I felt and what I thought at the time.
I tend to be more sensible and reasonable in a way.
And I also believe I could be very neutral to the things.
Moreover it's so precious feeling as you already know.
The funny story about this motto is when I kissed someone for the first time, I just cried.
Now I feel sorry for him but at the time I was in tears badly, because I was very scared of myself.
Things inside me will change someday, it doesn't matter if it's quick or slow though suddenly I became aware of that.
That was the reason of my tears back then and I still remember the swell.
Often my friends told me I look like the person who is not scared of the changes, but in actuality I think I'm very scared of the small changes.
However as long as I can enjoy the fear it would be fine and I kind of like it though.
Come to think of it, I wasn't particularly interested in foreign country and foreign language few years ago.
So it was a sudden urge when I decided to study English in Canada.
I thought I didn't have the reason to stay in Tokyo so I just went to Vancouver with no hesitation.
It's so embarrassing not to understand people especially when we're all grownups.
But I also liked the stress and struggle.
It even felt so relaxing sometime because I could live in the tiny world on my own.
I didn't know learning English means also learning Japanese.
Knowing others means also knowing ourselves.
Facing myself could be a bit complicated but it's rather fun and maybe necessary.
So many questions fell into me.
I was convinced, I was lost, I was curious, I was stimulated and I was attracted...
Having English knowledge made me flexible and adventurous.
I just felt like seeing the world.
Explore the world, discover myself, quit pretending, study about human, feel the earth... maybe I had enough reason to make it look natural.
To be honest I'm not easygoing or open-minded.
However I try (or should I say I pretend?) to be transparent and mild.
That's enough, I guess?
I do love being alone and staying at home doing nothing.
Though on the other hand, I occasionally feel I have to go somewhere.
My eyes, ears, body and the feeling... I just feed them when they need new color.
If red crayon runs out, you need something different, right?
That's the reason I've been traveling.
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